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Tweens Say The Darndest Things

Posted by Mistress on November 24, 2008

The best description of this movie are these reactions I overheard from the gaggle of tween fans sitting in front of me dressed in their vamp prom costume finery .So with out further ado I’ll quote their comments during the film :
1)wtf… why? ewwwww
2)OMG they all look like zombie crackheads
3)tween A: wait he wasn’t gay in the book..
tween b: nope, wait…. are they playing with string.this sucks.
4) dont touch her!!!! ( shrieked during a kissing scene)
5) Ok I know he’s dead and all; but eyeliner much!
6) he needs to not do that with his face ( my personal fav)

Now for my Thoughts:
They changed the events sequence, how they happened, and where so they could hit every signature moment and phrase that the fans loved.. and in a a few instances just made some sh$t up,lmao. The film was sloppy, badly edited, & retarded. Now on to the music..ah the music, I have never seen so many sappy music montages in one film….. oh and btw in addition to the gratuitous montages; they also constantly play M. Night Shamalan tinged disturbing dramatic music super loud out of the blue coupled with these random creepy staring shots . Every attempt at tension filled romance is just absurd and laughable. Throughout Edward comes off as a sociopath stalker. Personally I wouldn’t sit next to him on the train. Carsile looked like he was a living marshmallow, his face had this odd puffy & pasty thing going on. Emitt seemed fine enough but I only lack material to poke fun because he was only allowed to speak once. Where poor jasper had a blue steele constipated face the whole film.. I don’t remember him being allowed to speak at all. Also somehow in a town of 3,000 in north bubble f#ck Forks is now magically as ethnically diverse as NYC . Oh yeah and all the teens in this nowhereville town are dressed in designer clothes, all have perfect blindingly white cookie cutter veneers, and 400 dollar haircuts. So in short twilight is above and beyond horrible but highly enjoyable because of how awful it is. Don’t walk but run to the theaters


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