The Scarlet Corset

  • Tweet Promiscuity

    Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

  • Wanderer

    Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

  • Reader

    Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

Archive for the ‘Talking Smack(blog post)’ Category

Movie Mutterings

Posted by Mistress on June 22, 2009

Even for the love of John Cusack, I can’t sit though America’s Sweethearts. Encore on demand, sits there on the resume/restart screen, judging me. I’m feeling like a failure atm, so happy thoughts are needed stat. I’ve watched the Secret, it’s not good to dwell on these things. I need to eff my negative mood in the eye. Shakespeare once said “Focus not on the films that doth sucketh much, better those that rock hard or that shall”, so here goes.

First Let’s to cleanse palate with romantic comedy awesome. Saw ‘The Proposal’ with my best-friend on opening night, and have plans to see it again with my mother and a 3rd time with another pal who needs cheering up. It’s the number one movie in America for a reason people = ).

When high-powered book editor Margaret faces deportation to her native Canada, the quick-thinking exec declares that she’s actually engaged to her unsuspecting put-upon assistant Andrew, who she’s tormented for years. He agrees to participate in the charade, but with a few conditions of his own. synopsis by D-Man2010

Delightful green card scheme, for the win!

Many times watching a movie and I question the casting choices. Often one person could have and others…. anyone else would’ve done it better or pulled it off as well. For example IMO Hillary Swank was the weak link in P.S. I Love You; and I believe many actresses Drew Berrymoore, Amanda Peet, Maggie Gyllenhaal, heck even Zooey Deschanel would have been a better casting choice. Such thoughts didn’t even enter mind in this instance. Sandra and Ryan have great chemistry, and their acting skill and styles make the magic happen. I Can’t think of any other actress who could have pulled this off to my liking = ). “The Proposal” is as great as “Made of Honor” was horrible. So go see it, all hail Sandy!!

Next flick that has me all giddy….

Evil genius Tim Burton is taking on ‘Alice in Wonderland’. woot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes,the kiddies will most likely be scarred by his dark and twisty rendition, but sacrifices must be made lol. And I for one, am over the moon = ). Let’s talk cast. The usual suspects Jhonny Depp and Helana Bonham Carter are down with L&c, as the mad hatter and the queen of hearts. * Channels Emeril* but then BAM!!!! Anne Hathaway as the White Queen. Pretty impressive, eh? but not quite enough to cause this level of fangurl squee… ah yes I forgot to mention Alan Rickman as the Catepillar and Stephen fry as the Cheshire cat. **Squeels, Faints,Dies **

Here’s some image goodness:



Advertisements

Posted in Mistress, Talking Smack(blog post) | 4 Comments »

Small Town, USA

Posted by Mistress on January 16, 2009


I’m the definitive city girl. I don’t know anyone in my neighborhood by name; who hasn’t lived there for more than 15 years, not even my neighbors. I direct murderous thoughts at tourists during the Holiday season when their gawking slows me down. Nature is not my friend, though I like to pretend. One Summer, a friend and I decided to explore Prospect Park every weekend. We planned to follow the different routes till we’d been to every landmark and area. Our venture lasted all of 3 hours, when we broke for lunch at a pinic table, that I discovered 15 mins later was infested with ants… EVIL RED BITING ANTS.

The jewel on the clichéd NYC gurl crown is my hobby of surrounding myself with people, then talking to no one. I shit you not, I’m one of those freaks who will stay at a crowded café for hours reading, studying human behavior, or blogging. I enjoy few things more than the prattle of life flowing around me nonstop; with no need/expectation for me to engage in it. It’s my meditation and never fails to entertain. It’s very hard to picture myself anywhere else, this level of anonymity is addictive.

So it boggles the mind, why I lurve small town contemporaries so much. I ❤ tales about a city girl forced to move to a small bum fuck town for whatever complicated circumstances. I’m even willing overlook usual annoyances like secret babies, cowboys, single mothers, and series about brothers. Bring on the cheesy town names Temptation, Texas; Justice, Tennessee; West Bubble Fuck, North Carolina; or Scandal, Maryland. The struggle to find their place in the fishbowl/create their own business, pie competitions/recipes, the square dances, and costume parades; (though I normally wouldn’t give a fig) tell me more I’m fascinated. Oh and I can’t forget the hunky down home boys who got away. Can there ever be too many naughty small town sheriffs or mayors? Nunh uh says I.

I’m coming our of the contemporary niche closet, I dig small town romance. They’re the book equivalent of watching a Sandra Bullock movie.

Here are some of my favorites:

Nobody’s baby but Mine by Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Physics professor Dr. Jane Darlington spends her 34th birthday in tears. She wants a baby, but not a husband. Where can she find an average or, preferably, stupid man? She decides that Cal Bonner, legendary quarterback for the Chicago Stars is perfect. Jane sets her plan into action and after some trail and error she succeeds. But the results are more than she bargained for when Cal discovers her duplicity. How can a football player with an interfering family and a nerdy professor who has never known family love ever fall in love? With lots of honesty, understanding and a whole lot of humor. Don’t miss this one! It’s filled with engaging characters, laughs galore and a feel-good ending.- Amazon.com Review

Truly Madly Yours by Rachel Gibson

Delaney Shaw plans to get in and out of her hometown in the time it takes to attend her stepfather Henry’s funeral, read the will, and refill the tank of her Miata. Even the pleas of her mother and the tension of an unfinished fling with Henry’s bastard son, Nick Allegrezza, can’t keep her in Truly, Idaho. But Henry had other plans in mind: Nick and Delaney’s inheritance is contingent on her staying in Truly for a year, and him having no “sexual relationship” with Delaney. What’s a girl to do? Delaney digs in, starts up a hair salon and prepares to grit her teeth for as long as it takes.
Small-town life is everything that Delaney fears it to be: high school rivalries and old rumors about Delaney and Nick resurrect themselves with predictable immediacy. Gossip nears the truth as the sexual sparks fly between Nick and Delaney. Nick’s reputation as a ladies man hasn’t changed, either, and Delaney reminds herself that he can love her and leave her just as brutally as he did 10 years ago. But when the two find themselves in close proximity, all their best intentions fly out the window and intense passion consumes them. – Amazon.com Review

Pretty Bad by Shirley Jump

Madison Worth may be your average over-the-hill, overpaid top model, but she is not a diva. The cake throwing incident at the New York Fall Fashion Show? Completely justified. It wasn’t her fault Kate Moss’ face got in the way. But the fallout has her deep in social Siberia – literally – on a dairy farm in Podunk, Massachusetts. Why? To get a job of course! As spokesmodel for the Cheese Pleese Company. (Talk about eating humble pie.) And her new boss, Jack Pleeseman, leaves a lot – six-foot two inches worth – to be desired…Rugged and tanned in a deliciously hard-earned way, not to mention runway gorgeous, Jack Pleeseman wants to overhaul his 160-year-old family business. After some lengthy research in the pages of the “Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue”, he’s found the ideal candidate for a spokesmodel. But after running his eyes up her 20-story legs, what he finds is a beautiful, tall, spoiled rich girl in a need of a major attitude adjustment. A farm could be just the charm school to set her straight. Trouble is, the cocks are crowing, the cows are mooing, and sexy Jack can’t help from wooing…

Natural Born Charmer by Susan Elizabeth Phillips

It wasn’t every day a guy saw a headless beaver marching down the side of a road, not even in Chicago Stars quarterback Dean Robillard’s larger-than-life world. He slammed on the brakes of his brand-new Aston Martin Vanquish and pulled over in front of her.
The beaver marched right past, her big, flat tail bouncing in the gravel, and her small, sharp nose stuck up in the air. Way up. The beaver looked highly pissed . . .
She was definitely a girl beaver because her beaver head was missing, revealing sweaty, dark hair pulled into a scraggly ponytail. He’d been praying for a little distraction from his own depressing company, so he threw open the door and stepped out onto the shoulder of the Colorado road . . .
Funny, sexy, and touching—Natural Born Charmer is the unforgettable love story of a golden boy who might be losing his luster and a spirited woman who’s learned never to depend on anyone but herself.

Do they make your heart smile also? Or do I need help and a firm slap? Am I missing any other feel good Small town contemporaries, on your list? Suggestions are always appreciated.

Posted in Contemporary Couplings, Mistress, Talking Smack(blog post) | 4 Comments »

Pride & Predjudice in Romancelandia

Posted by Mistress on January 7, 2009

Jessica over at Racy Romance Reviews has kicked off the new year with some fascinating questions and statistics. So do our Bookish colored glasses and community distort our perceptions of the reality of publishing aspects/book sales and typical reading habits? I’m dying to hear your thoughts on the matter after the jump, here’s mine.

I’m blessed in the fact that 9/10 of my close friends read constantly, but, we’re all so genre specific that its hard to have a meeting of the minds. I ended up slumming on the net looking for anyone who would discuss Anita Blake’s downward slide into slut with me that I didn’t have to kidnap and subdue. The angels sang when I stumbled upon B&N book club forums. It was a whole new world just, like Aladdin promised, it blew my mind, there was no way life could get any better. Then I started blogging, discovered you fine folks in the blog community, and it did. = )

I think it’s human nature driving us to choose select niches and commit. In fact I think the higher your read count the more genre conditions/quirks you’ll develop. If only from a higher exposure to good and bad stimulus, resulting brutally clear compartmentalizing of our likes and dislikes. Attempting to choose enjoyable books, I have ended up with a downright anal method of choosing books to purchase. The distinctions our lil’ club uses to classify contemporary is caused by the natural reality of book buying. People and books are rarely snowflakes. Especially when it comes to romance they’re just slightly altered retellings of the same old story. We like what we like and we buy what we buy, the easier the publisher makes it for use to find our tome of choice the better ( also the more likely we are to blindly buy an unknown author based on section placement). IMO the publishers classification is too broad, but it can’t be helped since that their understanding of the market and methods are rather out dated ( like Jane’s discussing over @DA). Maybe I’m just jaded but I’ve been reading for so long that Sue Everyday trying to make her way in the world and chances upon some decent man flesh is rarely enough to hold my interest anymore. Without the genre touches/ tweaks of suspense, para, or mystery chick lit; my eyes tend to glaze over & I start skimming to hasten my freedom.

On appealing to the 1-5 books a year reader, I don’t have the foggiest clue on how to snare them. My lil’ piece of the web is way too snarky and playfully off-kilter for the faint of heart. Personally I’m too far gone to take off my bling’d out blinkers anytime soon. I do think they count as readers and their voice is valid. But something magical happens to those who consume novels with abandon, it surpasses hobby and becomes a vital part of who we are, what we talk about, the lingo we use/create, and a sort of book-centric humor that develops. When after intense exposure we start to play with the concepts/landscape found in the books we’re reading, become more proactive in our enjoyment and end up with a changed perception. It strengthens our force as consumers more than it hinders our comprehension, me thinks.

Posted in Mistress, Talking Smack(blog post) | 4 Comments »

Bad Author No Cookie

Posted by Mistress on January 3, 2009

Memoir writers of the world… STOP LYING! You are not George Clooney in Oceans Eleven or James Bond, in this age of information and technology you are going to get caught out there.

Oprah’s Liars Club

I had 3 main responses to this article…well after bitchy amused mirth.


1)

O has more moolah and purchasing sway than God. Checking out the backgrounds of the tomes she pimps thoroughly should be a no-brainer by now.


2)

“My gripe is not with lovers of the truth but with truth herself. What succor, what consolation is there in truth, compared to a story? What good is truth, at midnight, in the dark, when the wind is roaring like a bear in the chimney? What you need are the plump comforts of a story. The soothing, rocking safety of a lie.”

–Vida Winter
(Diane Setterfield, The Thirteenth Tale)

fine words from one of my favorite novels. These stories are if nothing else highly creative & worth being told. Authors there’s no need to to mask your creation under the guise of facts, own it. Well unless you want a easy gravy train ride by getting on Oprah, lmao. (which leads me to me 3rd thought)

3)

Oprah’s become a Angst Slut in her book preferences of late. She should start using her powers for the good of fiction. Publishings going through a rough period generally and Contemporary Romance is dying a slow death specifically. She could do some serious good by getting her head out of the pretentious Emo sand and reading/promoting some exceptional feel good fiction,IMO(before it’s eventually turned into a movie and her Hollywood friends wanna promote/slut it up..if ya don’t mind) .

That very opinion is exactly why I’m not a Oprah’s book club follower. There’s enough doom and gloom in reality… I don’t care how life affirming the “I should just slit my wrists & end it all now” downers are that she pimps, I’m falling for it. Maybe if she expanded her reading horizons, authors wouldn’t see the need to write embellished tales of faux woe and strife as their only road to bright & shiny O approved exposure.

What do you think?

Posted in Bad Author No Cookie, Mistress, Talking Smack(blog post) | 6 Comments »

To Sir Ho-bag, With Love

Posted by Mistress on December 9, 2008

This week is Virgin Hero week at Romance novel TV and it spawned thoughts in our twisted minds of his opposite The Man-whore Hero. Call him what you will a rake, a playboy, or a womanizer; he breaks hearts, gets panties, and sets the ton (or the futuristic space colony) on fire with his scandalous ways and mad sensual seduction skillz. Whether he’s tortured by past demons or just a wantonly unrepentant Duke of Slut, Is there a more prolific formula for Romance reader crack?

We admit we enjoy a virginal hero or 2, but always look first to Him-ho’s for literary thrills, chills, squeals, and jollies. So why is he so Cum-pelling? *enter snickering here* What’s the appeal of the Man-whore hero? Especially when in real life we’d most likely find such a man a: skeezy, obnoxious, borderline emotionally abusive, date rapist; with the sort of cooties no amount of bleach and scouring will cleanse.

Reader:

Personally I think it’s all about the lurving experience. They’ve been with every woman in Christendom yet you’ve got ’em whipped cause, like Sinead said, “nothing compares to you”. It feeds the vanity something wicked which is a large draw of a forever loves tale. Ultimately it’s an ego stroke thing; Yeah baby, Yeah!

Most women can identify with romance novel heroines too, unless she’s a Mary Sue, she usually isn’t the prettiest girl in the room, she hasn’t got the nicest clothes, nor is she particularly skilled in the pianoforte [or insert any other useless hobby people give much importance to]. According to the measures of the day, she falls short of the accepted standards. Most women will identify with this position. At every party there will always be somebody better looking, better dressed, with a better job, and who plays tennis or sings or cooks or does something, anything, better than us so when a man, who can have any woman, choose her above all others, we, the readers can’t help but it eat up. I do know that as much as I love a promiscuous alpha hero in fiction, if I were ever to meet one in real life, I would have the common sense not to faint in his presence and instead run for the boondocks for fear of the clap.

Mistress:

IMO the best aspect of the man whore is what a brilliant conflict point it is. What drives his hussy campaign gets me going every time. Is it just because he can? Was his heart broken? Is he running away from familial demands? Does he have some deep dark secret? Is he determined to give society the finger? Maybe he’s just a true lover of all women that pokemon –esque wants to catch, taste, tease, & bed em all? Or is it to prove something? * Squees* and if so to whom? Now that’s zexy character complexity.

The sexual/social confidence…the sheer arrogance they express with every gaze, casual touch, or word curls my toes.Then the inevitable moment of touching vulnerably warms my cold black bitchy soul; What a ride ladies, what a ride. I’m an Alpha girl all the way in my reading life. I definitely think a large part of the Alpha appeal is derived from expectations of extreme sexual prowess, thats part of the parcel. That’s right I said it, inside every alpha lurks a man whore. With the exception of the paranormal monsters who physically can’t boink until they find their sexy smelling mate then we’re supposed to swallow that they magically become ” Supa Luvahs” without any prior experience. But then I’m also one of the few freaks who rolls her eyes and vomits a little, when one of these larger than life specimens is paired with a naive,easily swayed,doe eyed, meh personality; Priss. You know the ones who go from being biblical in propriety and virginity,then one chapter in are completely adapted to being passed around with his 3 brothers, his parents, and their dog. Or just as vile when otherwise intelligent, assertive, sexually adept heroines become uncharacteristically submissive in all aspects once they find lurve. I won’t even get into the pervasive hardcore BDSM kink infiltrating the genre except to say, Fail. Pairing preferences aside the Man whores in literature are so full of win.

Reader’s Man whore novel recommendations:

They call him many names, but Angelic isn’t one of them . . .

Sebastian Ballister, the notorious Marquess of Dain, is big, bad, and dangerous to know. No respectable woman would have anything to do with the “Bane and Blight of the Ballisters”—and he wants nothing to do with respectable women. He’s determined to continue doing what he does best—sin and sin again—and all that’s going swimmingly, thank you . . . until the day a shop door opens and she walks in.

She’s too intelligent to fall for the worst man in the world . . .

Jessica Trent is a determined young woman, and she’s going to drag her imbecile brother off the road to ruin, no matter what it takes. If saving him—and with him, her family and future—means taking on the devil himself, she won’t back down. The trouble is, the devil in question is so shockingly irresistible, and the person who needs the most saving is—herself!

She stood at peril’s threshold —
then love beckoned her in…

A prim, well-bred gentlewoman, Sara Fielding is a writer who puts pen to paper to create dreams. But now curiosity is luring her from the shelter of her country cottage into the dangerous world of Derek Craven — handsome, tough, and tenacious — and the most exciting man Sara has ever met.

Derek rose from poverty to become the wealthy lord of London’s most exclusive gambling house. And now duty demands that he allow Sara Fielding to enter his perilous realm of ever-shifting fortunes — with her impeccable manners and her infuriating innocence. But there is a hidden strength and sensuality to the lady that captivates him beyond his better judgment. And in this world, where danger lurks behind every shadow, even a proper “mouse” can be transformed into a breathtaking enchantress — and a cynical gambler can be shaken to his core by the power of passion and the promise of love.

Mistress’ Man whore novel recommendations:

Aerin is a middle-aged woman who has finally admitted to herself that her life is completely devoid of everything that makes life worth living. She has a good job that pays great, but with no real friends. At forty-seven, she’s never even had a lover and is now facing menopause. Finally desperate to at least experience one grand adventure in her life, she decides to make a call to a sex club.

There she meets Violanti who sees in her all her potential and a beautiful soul. And, it becomes his purpose to help her see it too.

A storm’s rage. A woman’s desire.

A man with the power to set them both free.

He can summon lightning at will. Emerge unscathed from the center of a tornado. Strip a woman down to her barest defenses through the sheer force of his sexuality. He’s gorgeous, dangerous, and the target of parameteorologist Haley Holmes’s latest mission. Haley has been dispatched to the Louisiana bayous to investigate the phenomenon known as Remy Begnaud-a man with a gift he never wanted: the ability to control a storm’s fury. But even a woman trained in bizarre weather phenomena has no defense against the electrifying power of the ex–Navy SEAL…a power his enemies would kill to control.

With her agency monitoring their every move, Haley’s job is to seduce Remy, gain his trust-and help him harness his extraordinary gift. But who will protect her from this voracious lover who’s introducing her to a new world of erotic thrills–a man who grows increasingly insatiable with each new weather event? Haley knows a big storm is approaching–and with it will come unexpected delights. But so, too, will the storm unleash her greatest fears: an enemy bent on destroying Remy. And her worst fear of all–falling in love with this magnificent man, then having to betray him.

Posted in Mistress, Reader, Talking Smack(blog post) | 4 Comments »

Bring on the Drama

Posted by Mistress on December 4, 2008

I am sick and tired of my fav characters on screen and page making meh relationship choices and engaging in disturbing pity/save the world sex. I’ve started many a convo about this with Reader my bookslut besty and resident ScarletCorset shipper, but it must be restated.

Kick Ass Heroines of the world ….you must…STOP falling for; chumps, princes of bupkis, and lords of wack.

Examples:

– Anita Blake bumping uglies with Nathanial. Yeah yeah I know she bumps with EVERYBODY but c’mon. I don’t care if he has long pretty hair. he’s a borderline personality flunky.

-Merry Gentry with the wrench in the conservatory. I jest I jest , actually it was Merry gentry with a bj in the bathroom. I’m sorry the goblin who’s 4 feet tall and looks like a child is feeling left out. But DUDE could you give him a hug next time or a cookie instead of… what you did. *shivers*

– The book I finished earlier this week that provoked this rant, but I’m yet to review due to a combo of intense frustration and not wanting to spoil it for everyone. So I’ll keep my trap shut and wait for their hope to be crushed in the natural time line of things. Or who knows maybe they’ll think it’s awesome and I’ll be Breaking Dawn like wtf all over again.

See the heart of the matter is that I’m a dynamic story first type of fan. I love Pushing Daisies but if Chuck and Ned found love elsewhere I wouldn’t shed a tear. In fact if the anti HEA event occurs and interests me I’ll cackle while I steeple my fingers like Mr. Burns.I’ve just had it with safe..boring..story killing plot choices. Doesn’t any one else wonder what if Georgia ran away with Rome in “Succubus Blues” and restarted life as bad ass Angel hybrid banging villainess? *shut you mouth* but I’m just talking bout Georgia *and we can dig it. What can I say, I lack the restraint to pass up a Super Fly joke opportunity and am a fierce advocate for angel boinking on principal. ; )

If given the choice, I’d sacrifice sweet forever love to my pagan gods for a compelling epic any day of the week. So why the heck do I read romance? Because the authors who rawk my sock don’t celebrate the birth of love with the death of complexity. When both are present the magic happens; think Jane Austen,Faith Hunter, Illoana Andrews, Jeri Ready Scott. Kristen ( and PC) Cast, Kat Richardson, Colleen Gleason, Keri Arthur and Richelle Mead.

So I’m naming my self Queen of the universe for the next ..er 10 minutes and am decreeing new rules:

Rule 1. if you have to choose between a smoking hawt Beast king who challenges you in interesting, infuriating, and uber exciting ways and your BFF since kindergarten whose a substitute gym teacher and looks like Seth Green. YOU MUST pick the beast King. You are allowed to get all “ what should I do? How can I break his heart? Do I want him for the wrong reasons? But, rescinding his Beastness and choosing the buzz kill dweeb is I STRESS not acceptable under any circumstances.

Rule 2 You no longer get to justify having sex with childlike beings, I don’t care how old they are or if they don’t cum that they’ll die, just don’t do it. Also no gagtastic hookups with loser supporting characters having a sad on, even when you need sexy time to transform like sailor moon to save us all.

As it is written so shall it be done and all that jazz.

P.S. I’m not serious…mostly.

P.P.S
Also tv wise:
Dexter should dump Rita stat. I want more dark passenger less suburban blah and making friends. I signed on for a Serial Killer Anti Hero not Daddy Day Care = /

.

Posted in Mistress, Talking Smack(blog post) | 6 Comments »

Holy Jizz, Batman

Posted by Mistress on November 30, 2008

No matter what you’re doing right now,run don’t walk over to “Smart Bitches” Come for the culinary stylings of the man junk addicted.Stay for the Awesome snarky comments

Posted in Mistress, Talking Smack(blog post) | 1 Comment »

Why Thanksgiving Doesn’t Suck

Posted by Mistress on November 27, 2008

Dear Bookish Masses,

I love love love Thanksgiving and not for the boring peace to men hallmark sound bites.

It’s awesome, and not just because of the food which doesn’t hurt. A non religious holiday where nothing is expected of me other than eating. Which hello, I have to do anyway to live… so it’s win win. After that I’m expected to… oh wait that’s right… zilch, nada, & nothing else. So I can be as sloth like as I please, and I please much.I’m given a national pardon from: work, school, and life. I can sleep the whole day or read for hours with impunity. That my darlings doesn’t suck.

May the Gobble be with You,
Mistress

Posted in Mistress, Talking Smack(blog post) | 4 Comments »

Tweens Say The Darndest Things

Posted by Mistress on November 24, 2008

The best description of this movie are these reactions I overheard from the gaggle of tween fans sitting in front of me dressed in their vamp prom costume finery .So with out further ado I’ll quote their comments during the film :
1)wtf… why? ewwwww
2)OMG they all look like zombie crackheads
3)tween A: wait he wasn’t gay in the book..
tween b: nope, wait…. are they playing with string.this sucks.
4) dont touch her!!!! ( shrieked during a kissing scene)
5) Ok I know he’s dead and all; but eyeliner much!
6) he needs to not do that with his face ( my personal fav)

Now for my Thoughts:
They changed the events sequence, how they happened, and where so they could hit every signature moment and phrase that the fans loved.. and in a a few instances just made some sh$t up,lmao. The film was sloppy, badly edited, & retarded. Now on to the music..ah the music, I have never seen so many sappy music montages in one film….. oh and btw in addition to the gratuitous montages; they also constantly play M. Night Shamalan tinged disturbing dramatic music super loud out of the blue coupled with these random creepy staring shots . Every attempt at tension filled romance is just absurd and laughable. Throughout Edward comes off as a sociopath stalker. Personally I wouldn’t sit next to him on the train. Carsile looked like he was a living marshmallow, his face had this odd puffy & pasty thing going on. Emitt seemed fine enough but I only lack material to poke fun because he was only allowed to speak once. Where poor jasper had a blue steele constipated face the whole film.. I don’t remember him being allowed to speak at all. Also somehow in a town of 3,000 in north bubble f#ck Forks is now magically as ethnically diverse as NYC . Oh yeah and all the teens in this nowhereville town are dressed in designer clothes, all have perfect blindingly white cookie cutter veneers, and 400 dollar haircuts. So in short twilight is above and beyond horrible but highly enjoyable because of how awful it is. Don’t walk but run to the theaters

Posted in Mistress, Talking Smack(blog post) | Leave a Comment »